Thursday, June 23, 2011

A Modest Proposal, Part II - Marriage Equality

AN ACT to prohibit heterosexual
couples from engaging in the act
of marriage and from receiving
the more than 1,138 rights and
protections of marriage provided
by the federal government, as well
as from receiving the benefits of
common-law marriage as defined
by Meister v. Moore
(96 U.S. 76 (1877))

WHEREAS, it is illegal for same-sex couples to marry each other while allowing heterosexual couples to do so in a country that claims to be “the land of the free,” and

WHEREAS, we are a country that is founded on the principles of the human rights to “life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness,” therefore


Section 1. 

(a) Any heterosexual couple who attempts to obtain a marriage license in any government office, attempts to be married in any religious institution and/or attempts to receive the federal rights and privileges of marriage and/or common-law marriage benefits shall be summarily denied and turned away.
(b) The marriages and common-law marriages of all heterosexual couples that took place prior to this act taking effect will be immediately annulled. 

Section 2. The law enforcement officers of all existing fifty states may arrest any clergyperson or government official discovered to be aiding and abetting heterosexual couples in their nuptial ceremonies and/or receiving of government marriage benefits. 

Section 3. Upon conviction in a competent Court of law, the judge shall sentence the clergyperson or government official to a sentence of no less than 6 months, no more than 1 year in prison at his or her discretion. 

Section 4. This act shall take effect immediately.

Come on, America. Don’t deny us the rights you take for granted every second of your lives. We deserve to marry the person we love just as much as you do. Don’t treat us as second-class citizens. Otherwise, you just might find yourselves right beside us someday. Either everyone gets a slice of the pie or nobody gets any at all.

No comments:

Post a Comment